Disorder Diaries: Working From Home With Anxiety and Depression

Updated: Mar 14

By Katie


Wednesday:


Noon: Working from home Day 4. Being at home and not in the office can make me slightly depressed. *sigh* Another cup of coffee, please.


I look out the window and it's not that I want to be outside doing something, but I could be if I wasn't working. I know you know what I mean.


3pm: I’m wrapping up meetings, but starting to get antsy for some human interaction. My boyfriend gets home from work in a few hours. My anxiety starts to really kick in around 3, when I feel kind of alone from being inside all day. I don't hear from my boyfriend for two hours and I start to worry. He's, of course, fine.


6pm: My boyfriend is home. I shower, walk my dog, and close my computer. Work done. We make dinner and hang out on the patio. I live for moments like these: when the house is clean, work is done, and we can hang out and talk for a few minutes. It calms my anxiety.


Thursday:

7am: I wake up to an email from our CEO. We’re working from home until the beginning of next month. My dog is thrilled. Me, not so much. I work best when I’m in the office, where we all come to work rather than at home where all of my house chores hang over me. I look in the mirror, judge myself for a second, and then tell myself today is not the day where depression gets to control me. I'm happy, I say to myself. The world is my place, too. These have been ongoing daily mantras since my hospitalization a year and a half ago. They help, I think.


10am: My boyfriend’s company has implemented a work from home schedule until April, as well. I’m excited he’ll be home with me, but this is a long period. I have more coffee and wrap up my emails. I pace around the house for a little bit, cleaning. Cleaning is my thing. Sometimes it can become an unhealthy way to manage my anxiety. I'm always organizing, buying bins to organize more stuff, and cleaning. I love my space to be extremely clean, but I know it's not always ideal.


1pm: I’m so hungry! I’m trying out no carbs and it’s rough. I can’t tell if a huge change to my diet affects my anxiety and depression firsthand. It feels like it makes it slightly better, but could just be my own hopes.


4pm: My friends come over and we express our disbelief that COVID-19 is having such an impact. We’re mostly worried. One of them is in school and won’t be meeting in class for the rest of the semester, the other works music festivals and they’re cancelled. We discuss the financial impact for people who can’t work from home. This makes me anxious, but thankful for my job.


7pm: I’m going to dinner with my boyfriend. Eating out with no carbs is so hard, but we manage. His friends come over to hang out for a bit and they, too, discuss their disbelief about the effects COVID-19 is having on people and we discuss Italy quite a bit.


10pm: We’re going to bed. Bedtime is less exciting when you know you’ll be working from home. I toss and turn for a moment, but I’m asleep quickly. Typically it takes me a long time to sleep, just because of my anxiety.



This is a day and a half of having anxiety and depression amidst the COVID-19 crisis.

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